Throughout human history, stories have been a source of
inspiration and bonding. Especially in these difficult times, when we need
inspiration about what’s possible, when so many of us are hungry for some faith
that collaboration can work, I feel so
happy to have some examples that nourish me in my own work. This is, simply,
about what work can be like when we embrace a deep intentionality of
collaboration. (These are three
real-life stories, two of which are changed in non-substantial ways to protect
anonymity.) They all exhibit the path I think of as inviting people to hold a
dilemma together. I have written about this path in other contexts, and I am
truly delighted to share something that can offer a visceral sense of what the
future could look like, however small the scale.
A Hiring Challenge
A colleague of mine, let’s call her Jennifer, was in the
process of hiring an administrator. In the process of interviewing people, one
candidate, named here Susan, stood out as being an absolute fit for the scope
and quality of the job. The only catch was that Susan wanted significantly more
money than Jennifer’s budget; more, in fact, than Jennifer herself was earning.
She approached me, initially, to get a sense of what people at BayNVC were
getting paid, to help her assess how to respond. After some back and forth,
what stood out to me was that she was going to make the decision by herself,
without involving Susan. Whatever course of action she was going to take –
accepting what Susan asked for, turning down the offer, or negotiating with
Susan about a lower pay – all of that was going to be inside of Jennifer. In
this, our familiar and common world, she would be operating separately from
Susan, and Susan from Jennifer. Each would decide for herself what works for
her.
Here’s what I said in a final email: “Does she know she will
be making more than you? Are the reasons for the ‘minimum’ she wants about
sustainability or about dignity/value? Dialogue with her, invite her into the
dilemma, make a decision with her.”
This idea – inviting people into the dilemma – is one I am
more and more drawn into. It’s one of the ways that I see myself supporting
people to embrace collaboration. It’s revolutionary in its simplicity, and in
general doesn’t occur to people. Most often, when I find a specific enough
application, people welcome and embrace it – whether parents or bosses. In this
case, with Jennifer being an NVC trainer, she was very happy to experiment, and
invited Susan to have a conversation.
