tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post4518673767544727979..comments2023-03-26T01:02:06.760-07:00Comments on The Fearless Heart: Punishment and RewardMiki Kashtanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00907977416574801559noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-67364123389677129942013-04-02T21:09:49.620-07:002013-04-02T21:09:49.620-07:00Thanks Miki. Keep learning over and over how diffi...Thanks Miki. Keep learning over and over how difficult it is to hear no and make requests, congruent. Keep finding that the external expression of threat, is accompanied by an unresolved internal threat and internal demand. How can we shift internal punishment and demand and mourn when people say no to demands (disguised as and longing to peacefully evolve to requests)? Thanks. Joy to all. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11130127946990775741noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-47313622192263552812012-11-08T07:49:10.143-08:002012-11-08T07:49:10.143-08:00I just wanted to say thank you, to you both Sarah ...I just wanted to say thank you, to you both Sarah and Miki, for your responses, I am grateful for them. Paulnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-60740381749573219002012-11-01T08:49:48.135-07:002012-11-01T08:49:48.135-07:00Thank you Paul for this. I am also struggling in ...Thank you Paul for this. I am also struggling in my parenting with living nonviolence in the way I aspire to. One of the results of growing up with physical and emotional abuse and neglect is that I, too, have developed a deep commitment to living nonviolence in every way I can. I am only recently beginning to uncover what that means. And the other piece is that reactivity and violence live sarahnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-52606855978849367642012-10-31T06:52:04.626-07:002012-10-31T06:52:04.626-07:00Dear Paul,
I am writing with just about infinite ...Dear Paul,<br /><br />I am writing with just about infinite gratitude for the meticulous way in which you describe the internal experience of the parent. So viscerally clear, there is nothing left to my imagination, no invisible dot to connect. <br /><br />I want to do only two things here. One is to clarify that power-over is an approach, and is independent of how much power we actually have. WeMiki Kashtanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00907977416574801559noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-60233238681690805512012-10-31T06:34:24.767-07:002012-10-31T06:34:24.767-07:00What I want to say, by saying all this, is that
- ...What I want to say, by saying all this, is that<br />- I really want to understand, and really, empathically and respectfully understand, what the life in punitive and power-over responses is, and to find strategies that really, practically take care of what those punitive strategies are trying to take care of<br />-I think what I find I experience may be another way in which punitive or Paulnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-78646658477654769312012-10-31T06:32:33.327-07:002012-10-31T06:32:33.327-07:00When I ask for something, and it is a demand, and ...When I ask for something, and it is a demand, and it looks like they are not up for it, something in me freaks out, and wants to enforce my will, quite hard, and is really scared of them just walking away, getting their way. There is a difference here between demanding and use of force/power-over to enforce, and punishment, I think. Anyway, I find myself really scared of something happening that Paulnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-69646650992019642142012-10-31T06:21:16.978-07:002012-10-31T06:21:16.978-07:00Dear Miki,
I am very grateful for what you do, the...Dear Miki,<br />I am very grateful for what you do, the parts of your work that I have had access to so far contribute to me greatly. In wanting to be clear in getting across what I want to say, I want to explain that NVC is totally central to my life and worldview and I am deeply committed to trying to follow my path of making these principles of nonviolence manifest on every level that I can. Paulnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-51677765527185381002012-10-23T18:04:23.488-07:002012-10-23T18:04:23.488-07:00I appreciate being reminded of the subtle ways we ...I appreciate being reminded of the subtle ways we can make demands, e.g., not smiling at someone if they don't comply with what we'd like. It brings up for me that much as I might like the theory of making requests instead of demands, my ability to do so is constrained by my ability to do the inner work necessary to (a) trust that there are a multitude of other strategies out there to Jean McElhaneynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-62662003260984992702012-10-21T17:01:37.024-07:002012-10-21T17:01:37.024-07:00While rereading a poem in a friend's collectio...While rereading a poem in a friend's collection of his mystical poetry, I spotted one that I wanted to share with Miki. But it might also touch some of her loyal readers to. You will probably realize why I chose this poem to share upon reading its title. -Ron<br /><br /><br />Vulnerability is the Key by Jeff Wolverton<br /><br />The Beloved says, “Between you and Me<br />there Ron Greensteinnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-19748116368627664612012-10-19T09:40:28.596-07:002012-10-19T09:40:28.596-07:00I read two blogs this morning that to my mind comp...I read two blogs this morning that to my mind complimented one another. The following is a portion of the other blog (KulturCritic):<br /><br />Of course, counterinsurgency was engraved in our mission statement, long before it had a proper name. The earliest pilgrims to the New World, and explorers as far back as Chris Columbus, exercised this same methodology with the Native Americans: kill themRon Greensteinnoreply@blogger.com