tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post1677308400896975342..comments2023-03-26T01:02:06.760-07:00Comments on The Fearless Heart: Adam Lanza and All of UsMiki Kashtanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00907977416574801559noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-68503022142998821772013-01-15T07:37:27.894-08:002013-01-15T07:37:27.894-08:00Dear Anonymous,
I so so appreciated reading your ...Dear Anonymous,<br /><br />I so so appreciated reading your comment. I have a friend who has a similar struggle, and she would like to talk with you. If you are open to that, please contact me through the BayNVC website. Thank you so much.<br /><br />MikiMiki Kashtanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00907977416574801559noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-53988823767804761202013-01-14T12:24:44.470-08:002013-01-14T12:24:44.470-08:00Miki,
Nice article, thanks.
Seems like most of t...Miki,<br /><br />Nice article, thanks.<br /><br />Seems like most of the people I meet react to the Newtown incident with the will to punish back. People tell each other gruesome stories of the pain they would inflict on the "monster" if they had the chance, and it's all "good". I'm not comfortable with any of that, even if it is only words.<br /><br />There is Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-69123754038856483052013-01-08T10:32:37.858-08:002013-01-08T10:32:37.858-08:00Dear Anonymous, This issue of Lanza's probable...Dear Anonymous, This issue of Lanza's probable Asperger's has been widely debated and the consensus that has emerged is summed up well by the New York Times' mea culpa for having suggested something similar to your comment here. See <br />http://publiceditor.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/12/18/adam-lanza-aspergers-and-a-misleading-connection-with-violence/<br />Quote:<br />Dr. Ami Klin, an Dave Beldenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05181001434921321520noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-15387082211684008692013-01-08T00:36:49.482-08:002013-01-08T00:36:49.482-08:00Lanza killed because he had Asperger's disorde...Lanza killed because he had Asperger's disorder: Dead inside = dead outside. The only societal contribution was allowing him to become unsupervised by family and professionals and allowing access to weaponry. <br /><br />Multiple other shooters who engaged in ruthless targeting of victims had signs and/or diagnoses of autism or Aspergers: Colorado, Norway, Port Arthur, etc. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-89691145543276613442013-01-02T19:53:44.367-08:002013-01-02T19:53:44.367-08:00I want to add one more comment, sparked by thinkin...I want to add one more comment, sparked by thinking about how socio-economic status fits in. I read something (can't remember now who wrote it, sadly) about how it is worth noting that in most of the school shootings, the shooter is a white male who is not poor. People say things like, "We didn't think it could happen here." The question is -- why not? Because we don't Jean McElhaneynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-20694607303424166362013-01-02T19:24:40.726-08:002013-01-02T19:24:40.726-08:00I appreciate the broader perspective that sees how...I appreciate the broader perspective that sees how a culture of violence contributes to this sort of tragedy, and sees it as a tragedy. Even though (or maybe becaue) I am licensed as a mental health counselor, I too have been dismayed by the medicalization of the problem. This goes far beyond individual mental illness or biochemistry. My take on is that the problem, ultimately is the problem Jean McElhaneynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-63301329199982667292013-01-02T05:37:17.636-08:002013-01-02T05:37:17.636-08:00I am grateful for all the thughtful and heartfelt ...I am grateful for all the thughtful and heartfelt comments. My basic question, unanswered so far, is 'what are WE going to do about it?' <br />Miki, you commented about a young girl you thought was being abused, yet chose to not get involved, and to me, this is the source of the issue. You see, the solution does not lie in gun control or the government, but rather, it depends on each Len Ellishttp://www.dallaspeacecenter.orgnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-53322306856756518742012-12-31T04:01:28.379-08:002012-12-31T04:01:28.379-08:00"We all know how to let people know they matt..."We all know how to let people know they matter." I love your quote here. It's simple and truthful. At the end of the day we all just want to feel that we matter to someone and to ourselves.<br />Thank you for your insightful post MikiAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-84571158695153297712012-12-29T19:30:37.808-08:002012-12-29T19:30:37.808-08:00Thank you Miki for this post. I have been struggli...Thank you Miki for this post. I have been struggling to put into words what I have been feeling around this and your words are very meaningful for me.<br /><br />I also came across a letter to Adam Lanza from Brother Phap Luu, a monk at Plum Village. He grew up in Newtown, Connecticut. Perhaps some of you would be interested in reading this. I found it to be very poignant.<br /><br />http://Jean Meierhttp://creativelearningassoc.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-8403071797608487362012-12-22T20:45:07.949-08:002012-12-22T20:45:07.949-08:00This comment has been removed by the author.Leohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07659359379008549335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-79072545210507311162012-12-22T19:03:58.485-08:002012-12-22T19:03:58.485-08:00Dear Leo,
First of all, I want to say I applaud y...Dear Leo,<br /><br />First of all, I want to say I applaud your courage and willingness to express what was going on for you, and to look inside to see what may be going on.<br /><br />I have been thinking about your words since I first read them, and I don't want to give you any facile answer. I see that I am a little concerned about lumping all violence into one group. I like Gilligan'sMiki Kashtanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00907977416574801559noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-10872314900760292412012-12-22T08:14:17.783-08:002012-12-22T08:14:17.783-08:00The only thing I would like to add to the ideas co...The only thing I would like to add to the ideas contained in this essay and the responses is something I read years ago that really stuck with me. I am pretty sure the author was Erich Fromm. The idea was that once a person resolved to view the world and his/her life as being a hopeless situation, their hopelessness might foster a recklessness in their behavior. The problem would be worsened if Ron Greensteinnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-91276219062979694032012-12-21T13:17:16.323-08:002012-12-21T13:17:16.323-08:00There are more like him, walking next to you in yo...There are more like him, walking next to you in your country. They are enjoying now and I am afraid it will give them boost to repeat it somewhere else. What causes the violance? Yes, you are right, violance -but first violance towards animals. Every muurderer sees the power of pain in younger siblings, domestic animals, farm animals and it expands further. <br /><br />My experience in life is YASHODA DADIhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16073041599323825320noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-21411042016697489912012-12-21T13:01:08.345-08:002012-12-21T13:01:08.345-08:00Thank you, Miki. I've been longing to read so...Thank you, Miki. I've been longing to read something that helped me make sense of how I've been feeling about this tragedy. I feel lots of relief, and finally tears coming. I had been kind of in a sense of shock since I first heard about it until now. I appreciate the guidance I got from reading this that is helping me to grieve and connect to what matters to me. Estrellahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09876400577982036818noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-58372735407687969272012-12-21T11:22:59.485-08:002012-12-21T11:22:59.485-08:00I certainly don't want politics telling me how...I certainly don't want politics telling me how to parent my kids! I am certainly not talking about overriding parental judgement except in extreme cases. Safety net for parents and families is exactly what I would want...and for the children as well. Maybe I didn't explain well. I want community solutions, not necessarily political or legal ones. I would love for many more people sarahnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-62810389249265786422012-12-21T10:36:34.611-08:002012-12-21T10:36:34.611-08:00I appreciate this article and also the thoughtful ...I appreciate this article and also the thoughtful comments. The sensationalism surrounding this event made me sicker than the event itself. <br /><br />Have you heard the demands to arm teachers so they can "defend" their students from attacks? Can you imagine your young teenager's backpack on the conveyer belt going through the inspection machine while an armed security guard Susan Lhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11061240445450442569noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-10792854708788636582012-12-21T07:52:29.795-08:002012-12-21T07:52:29.795-08:00Thanks, Miki, for your work and words on this. I a...Thanks, Miki, for your work and words on this. I appreciated your (short) list of contributors to our culture of violence - "the media, video games, our foreign policy, and our criminal justice system" - and just wanted to add some of the other more subtle but just as powerful contributors, such as our habits of 1) judgment and blame in every day communication, 2) punishment as a means Alex Bryannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-57846794642647760492012-12-21T00:10:07.380-08:002012-12-21T00:10:07.380-08:00I am reminded of a heard a story recently from som...I am reminded of a heard a story recently from someone who is doing research on rising rates of maternal mortality in the U.S. A woman who gave birth to twins went home to her apartment with her babies, a single mom, and bled to death. (Hemorrhage after birth is the most common cause of maternal death.) She was found 10 days after she died. One baby was dead and the other one was only sarahnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-57747709693816552702012-12-20T20:26:04.310-08:002012-12-20T20:26:04.310-08:00This comment has been removed by the author.Leohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07659359379008549335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-70983456536277201542012-12-20T20:22:17.701-08:002012-12-20T20:22:17.701-08:00This comment has been removed by the author.Leohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07659359379008549335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5754739242520868315.post-87388390218674336202012-12-20T17:35:36.816-08:002012-12-20T17:35:36.816-08:00Beautiful writing Miki. I had the same reaction wh...Beautiful writing Miki. I had the same reaction when I read Alice Miller—after I finished sobbing for myself and my hidden pain!Jonathan Rosenthalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00555463331894142628noreply@blogger.com